6 reasons why Lisa Cuddy (boss of House M.D.) desperately needs RFID

If you are like most Americans, you are familiar with House, the witty and sardonic doctor on Fox TV. You are probably also familiar with poor Cuddy, boss of House. She is constantly immersed with House in battles of wit and motivation. Cuddy urgently needs RFID, and here are six reasons why:

Instant House Location System

Combine a real-time location system (RTLS) with a RFID tag implanted in House’s cane to let Cuddy know where he is at all times. No longer can he watch his favorite soap operas while hidden in the break room. He will find no sanctuary to play Gameboy (or whatever other gaming system he is promoting this episode)  in peace. Wherever he goes, Cuddy can track him.

Limit Vicodin Intake

With RFID, Vicodin could (and very soon will be) tracked at the item level. This allows Cuddy to know when… or, er… how much House is using at any given time.

 Automated Patient Reports

While there are few things House doesn’t hate, near the top of the hated list is paperwork. Many RFID systems allow for a variety of automated reports including patient reports. While House would still have paperwork to pass off onto one of his staff (or refuse to do entirely when negotiating with Cuddy), at least the amount of overall paperwork would be reduced, leaving him more time to be cranky and save lives.

Always have the cure

With RFID, custom par levels can be set which prevent shortages. This is extremely necessary as House will often need a specialized something-or-other to cure that one-in-a-billion disease. You must keep everything in stock of at least one. If not, House won’t have the necessary cure on hand to heal the lady with jelly for bones.

Reduced costs

Everyone knows House is one of the most expensive doctors to keep around. He is constantly costing Cuddy money with the constant lawsuits, extended patient stays (often due to the initial diagnosis), and other miscellaneous costs of keeping House around (Vicodin supply for example). With all of these costs, Cuddy could certainly gain from reduced costs on the side. RFID can provide her this cost reduction, so that she can keep House around for just one more season.

Hand hygiene compliance

Have you ever seen House wash his hands before seeing a patient? Have you instead seen him be purposefully unclean around one of his interns or worse Cuddy (examples being sneezing profusely or wiping his nose when “sick”)? With RFID, Cuddy can track hand hygiene compliance and monitor House’s washing practices.

All in all, I think that Lisa Cuddy could definitely gain from the use of RFID technology throughout the hospital. With all the troubles House causes her, she needs every trick she can get merely to stay in the game.

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